u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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