I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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