I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
