My friends, they love my intelligence
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
