Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
