he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
