So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Couch. On fire.
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