it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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