He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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