Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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