maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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