I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
