All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
