apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize