so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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