Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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