i permit you to call me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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