He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
