absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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