me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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