Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
