Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize