at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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