people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
