I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
