Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
