they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
