Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize