Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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