She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She's not a foreskin expert like you
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Your penis caused this!
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