Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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