good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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