I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
