JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
