Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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