strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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