his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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