i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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