No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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