You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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