My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize