I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
