This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Text me some of your sweat
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
