Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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