So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
