quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
