i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize