Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
