I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
