the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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