Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
