Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize