How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
