Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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