Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize