Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
