UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Life is so much better after having sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
