do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize