I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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