well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
