Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
