yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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