how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
