he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
