I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you never un-have a 4some
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
