It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
