im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
